Chicken Soup Two Ways

Like the suit shop in My Cousin Vinny, the Sunday Casual-Observer has been, as an entity, under the weather this weekend, so we'll do what newspapers have always done when they need to vamp, and lean on our Food section. This week we'll make two versions of chicken soup: One for when the cook isn't sick, and one for when he is.

Chicken Soup for When You Aren't Sick

This version is a multi-day event, and worth the effort.

Ingredients
1 whole chicken
2 yellow onions
2 celery stalks
2 medium carrots
3/4 cup wild rice or wild rice mix
2 quarts water, plus extra
3/4 cup dry white wine
1 bunch fresh parsley
1 sprig each: fresh thyme, fresh sage, fresh rosemary
2 large bay leaves
1 tablespoon freshly ground cumin
1 teaspoon smoked paprika (or) 1 pinch cayenne
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
2 drops lemon juice
Salt and pepper
Olive Oil

Dry brine: 1/4 cup kosher salt, plus rubbed sage, paprika, onion powder, granualted garlic, black pepper, and oregano

Day One: Rub chicken with dry brine, inside and out, at least 12 hours in advance of cooking.

Day Two: Cook and disassemble chicken, or disassemble and cook, if you'd rather. (You're on your own for this part. Don't hurt yourself.) Eat the wings and drumsticks immediately—why else would you cook a chicken? Keep one thigh and one breast for the soup. Also reserve the neck and all available bones. (Busy bones can be frozen later, for next time.)

Day Three: Roast the bones. Arrange neck and bones on a sheet pan like some evil, arcane ritual. Roast at 400 degrees until they're caramel colored and smell roasty. 20 to 30 minutes at an off-hand guess.

Transfer the roasted bones to a large stock pot, add one bay leaf and one onion, halved, unpeeled. Pour in two quarts of water. Bring to a boil, and cover. Let it simmer for at least an hour, better two or three. Keep adding water as liquid boils off. Remove from heat and discard all solids. Strain broth through a fine-mesh strainer. (Cook's tip: Remember not to pour it down the sink!) Transfer stock to jars and refrigerate.

Day Four (or keep rolling on Day 3): Roughly chop one cooked chicken breast (the one you haven't made into sandwiches) and one cooked thigh. Return chopped meat to refrigerator. The remaining chicken is yours for your own private projects.

Finely dice the celery. Peel and dice the onion and carrots. Tie the sprigs of sage, thyme, and rosemary together with food-safe string.

Retrieve your refrigerated stock. Scrape off the top layer of fat with a spoon, reserving fat for biscuits. Later, remember that you never make biscuits, and discard. (Cooks tip: Refrigerate the chicken fat, to keep up the biscuit pretense for as long as a month.)

In a large stock pot, lightly coat the dry wild rice with olive oil, and toast over medium heat, stirring frequently, careful not to let it burn. When rice smells toasty and starts to pop, add your two quarts of stock. Bring to a boil, cover, and reduce heat to simmer. Add tied-up herbs and bay leaf. Stir occasionally.

Mix together ground cumin, paprika (or cayenne), ground ginger, and one or two turns of black pepper.

Heat a large saucepan to medium. Coat pan with one Tbsp olive oil, then add vegetables. When they start to sizzle, add 1/4 cup water and allow to cook off. When water has evaporated and vegetables are sizzling again, add the spice blend and stir with a wooden spoon for one minute. Transfer vegetables to stock pot. Immediately deglaze the saucepan with 3/4 cup wine, then add deglazing wine to stock pot.

Finely chop six sprigs of parsley, or as much as the whole bunch, saving a few sprigs for garnish.

When the rice is tender, remove bay leaf and tied herbs. Add two drops of lemon juice. Taste broth, and season as needed. (The C-O might even add a pinch of MSG powder, 'cause we're bold like that.) Add chopped chicken and chopped parsley. As soon as chicken is fully hot, spoon into bowls, garnish with parsley sprigs, and serve.

Chicken Soup for When You Are Sick

This version takes a different approach to manual labor.

Ingredients
2 quarts store-bought chicken stock or broth
2 to 3 frozen boneless chicken thighs
1 onion, peeled, halved, and sliced
1 large carrot, the monster of the bag, optionally peeled, chopped at odd angles
1 celery stalk, irregularly sliced
1 tablespoon stale ground cumin
1 teaspoon of the first dried herb you find in the drawer: chives, tarragon, dill—let yourself be surprised
1 to 3 pinches cayenne
1 to 7 cups random freezer shit
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

Heat the saucepan to medium-high. Add a glug of olive oil. Realize it was too much. Contemplate pouring some back, but don't. Saute the vegetables until you can't be bothered. Add herb and spice. Stir twice. Add stock, bring to a boil and reduce heat. Add frozen thighs directly to stock pot. When thawed, remove with tongs, roughly chop, and return to pot.

Search your freezer for any random shit that could plausibly go in soup. Peas, spinach, whatever. Old pepperoni; now's its moment. If you're fancy, you might find half a bag of freezer-burned tortellini. The C-O selects (but doesn't necessarily recommend) Ling Ling brand Chicken and Vegetable Mini Potstickers. Put your chosen freezer shit straight into the pot, regardless of cooking instructions.

Taste and add salt. Yes, that much salt. Garnish with old saltines from the back of the pantry.