Ostrich Weekly Forecast: Jan 6

Let's take a spin through January's minor holidays for a game of Will, Might, or Won't.

• National Spaghetti Day, Whipped Cream Day, and Bird Day: Won't, 'cause we missed 'em.
• National Bean Day (Jan 6): Might?
• National Bubble Bath Day (Jan 8): Might very well.
• National Static Electricity Day (Jan 9): Hopefully won't.
• National Houseplant Appreciation Day (Jan 10): Will!
• National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day (Jan 11): Can't. It's logically impossible.
• National Sunday Supper Day (Jan 12): Will, if nachos count as supper.
• National Curried Chicken Day (also Jan 12): Alright, fine. I'll get my apron.
• National Stephen Foster Memorial Day (Jan 13): Won't, if I can help it.
• National Hat Day (Jan 15): Will.
• National Nothing Day (Jan 16): Will? Won't? Feels like a trick question.
• National—shit, I've got Camptown Races in my head, now. Damn you, Stephen Foster!
• National Thesaurus Day (Jan 18): Indubitably.
• National Squirrel Appreciation Day and National Hugging Day (Jan 21): Separately, would. Together—might!
• National Polka Dot Day (Jan 22): Won't.
• National Compliment Day (Jan 24): Might. If you've earned it.
• National Opposite Day (Jan 25): Won't.
• National Bubble Wrap Day (Jan 27): (Does this mean popping, or just, like, wrapping stuff?) Yes. Or maybe.
• National Kazoo Day (Jan 28): Try to stop me.
• National Backward Day (Jan 31): Lliw.