Lucky Issue #13

First of all, a happy Six O'Clock Day (as of Friday) to all of you near the 45th Parallel. (Others may have celebrated early, or may have a few days left to go.) Seven O'Clock Day is only a week away, but that's owed to Benjamin Franklin, rather than divine benevolence.

This week also marks the Sunday Casual-Observer's thirteenth issue in my tenure as publisher, which seems like no time at all, yet also an eternity for those of you who've slogged through thirteen articles. For myself, I'm becoming accustomed to the tycoon life. There are things I don't love about being a newspaper scion (creditors hounding me, countless blackmail attempts) and things I do love (the daily shave from my personal barber). Demands of life in the elite have been decidedly low, so far. I hate to disappoint the star watchers out there, but those A-Listers are awful snobs, attached to an outdated, moneyist view of who's a tycoon and who isn't. Yet I'm making inroads, little by little. (Hot tip for socializing with Hollywood types: When you get an invitation, pay close attention to the small print. For example, there's a meaningful difference between on my boat and in my boat. "On my boat" might find you at the prow of Rebecca Black's island cruiser, a sea breeze in your hair and one in your hand. Whereas "in my boat" rewards you with the fishier scent of Matt Damon's cramped, aluminum rowboat, trawling for specimens aptly known as 'crappies.') Mostly, I've enjoyed my tycoonitude. The glare of fortune might be harsh, but I wouldn't trade it for my old, pre-newspaper life.

Above all, I've enjoyed rehabilitating this old rag into a real newspaper. Certainly, I've made mistakes, but I feel confident in saying that the Sunday Casual-Observer is on a stronger footing than it was before I bought it, particularly when you look at intangible types of value, such as inspiration, rather than the sweaty light of profit. We've welcomed back a healthy portion of the former staff, and even added a few bylines. That odd break-in, that I mentioned once, is behind us now, resolved to the satisfaction of all parties. With a storm or two weathered, I'd say we've come out stronger.

Our plans for the future are exciting, if not reckless. You may think you've read the C-O, but you haven't seen anything yet! [Truth-in-Journalism Statement: Yes you have. It won't get better.]

Above all, we owe our thanks to you, our readers, for choosing the Sunday Casual-Observer. We'll keep doing what we do, transcending the mainstream media, printing alternative news that's safer for your blood pressure, and still just as useful. As always, we appreciate your news tips, suggestions, and coerced polite praise. Reach us at editor@casualobserver.co.